Various philosophies and programs influence our approach to discipline. These include Relational Learning, Non-Violent Communication, No-Drama Discipline and Mindful Awareness Parenting.

We offer courses and reading material to staff members, families and community members to help adults to help children.

Discipline comes down to one simple phrase: Connect and redirect. Our first response should always be to offer soothing connection, then we can redirect behaviours. Even when we say no to children’s behaviour, we always want to say yes to their emotions, and to the way they experience things. As part of connecting and redirecting, we often give a choice: “Would you like to do this, or this?” – thus giving the child a part in the decision-making.

Here are the eight basic principles that guide us, from ‘No Drama Discipline’, by Siegel and Payne Bryson.

1. Discipline is essential. We believe that teaching our kids and giving them what they need includes setting clear and consistent boundaries and holding high expectations for them – all of which helps them achieve success in relationships and other areas of their lives.
2. Effective discipline depends on a loving, respectful relationship between adult and child. Discipline should never include threats or humiliation, cause physical pain, scare children, or make them feel that the adult is the enemy. Discipline should feel safe and loving to everyone involved.
3. The goal of discipline is to teach. We use discipline moments to build skills so kids can handle themselves better now, and make better decision in the future. There are usually better ways to teach than giving immediate consequences. Instead of punishment, we encourage cooperation from our kids by helping them think about their actions, and by being creative and playful. We set limits by having a conversation to help develop awareness and skills that lead to better behaviour both today and tomorrow.
4. The first step in discipline is to pay attention to kids’ emotions. When children misbehave, it’s usually the result of not handling big feelings well and not yet having the skills to make good choices. So being attentive to the emotional experience behind a behaviour is just as important as the behaviour itself. In fact, science shows that addressing kids’ emotional needs is actually the most effective approach to changing behaviour over time, as well as developing their brains in ways that allow them to handle themselves better as they grow up.
5. When children are upset or having a ‘meltdown’, that’s when they need us most. We need to show them we are there for them, and that we’ll be there for them at their absolute worst. This is how we build trust and a feeling of overall safety.
6. Sometimes we need to wait until children are ready to learn. If kids are upset or out of control, that’s the worst time to try to teach them. Those big emotions are evidence that our children need us. Our first job is to help them calm down, so they can regain control and handle themselves well.
7. The way we help them be ready to learn is to connect with them. Before we redirect their behaviour, we connect and comfort. Just like we soothe them when they are physically hurt, we do the same when they’re emotionally upset. We do this by validating their feelings and by giving them lots of nurturing empathy. Before we teach, we connect.
8. After connecting, we re-direct. Once they’ve felt that connection with us, kids will be more ready to learn, so we can effectively redirect them and talk with them about their behaviour. What do we hope to accomplish when we redirect and set limits? We want our kids to gain insight in to themselves, empathy for others, and the ability to make things right when they make mistakes.

These guidelines, which summarise our approach, are taken from “No-Drama Discipline: the whole-brain way to calm the chaos and nurture your child’s developing mind”, by Daniel J. Siegel, MD and Tina Payne Bryson, PhD. The school has purchased several copies of this book. These, and others, are available for loan by parents and guardians.